How strange it feels, to be alive and well, spending time in one of the most popular and picturesque destinations in Europe, yet be aware of the colossal amount of tragic events, ignorance, and sorrow in the world with a Trump America, a war-torn Syria with millions displaced, griefing and anger over the Manchester inicident, post and neo-colonial Africa and Latin America and with that centuries of implications, erosion of indigenous peoples' rights and voices, regions which still haven't recovered from the financial crunch of '07 and' 08, climate change-induced droughts, floods, and subsequently, the beginning of an era of climate refugees and water wars -- and here I am, enjoying the almost-summer breezes, sangria, tapas, sweets, and sunshine of Barcelona while paying a whooping €15 to see a "donation-based" cathedral that was started in the 1880s and will not be complete until 2026 (extremely magnificent structure, don't get me wrong, however I'm thinking what that quantity of money and energy could have been dedicated to instead). I find myself often surrounded by folks who will take 10+ selfies to get that one shot to look cute/cool/radical to their friends/followers whilst not particularly paying attention to where they actually are and the significance that surrounds them. I see shoppers who drop hundreds upon thousands of dollars-euros to temporarily satisfy their superficial material fix, only to return for more. As asthetically beautiful, full of history and vibrant arts, I've been reminded a number of times that I am back in this part of the western world where excess has driven and continues to drive these cities and society. I can't say I am surprised, yet I've found myself in a dilemma that I haven't felt this strongly since being in Japan back in November. I feel disgusted. I feel let down by humanity. I feel that I cannot be on the same team as these fellow humans who seemingly have little to no awareness of their actions and the happenings around our shared world, which as we go deeper and deeper into the technology and information age, ignorance to me becomes a choice rather than not. I feel the impending doom hitting as we keep riding these cruise ships on fossil fuels as the sea levels continue to rise, flooding homes and displacing people we don't know and don't care to know while we tell ourselves YOLO (You Only Live Once) so I deserve to spend and do what I earn so STFU (Shut The F Up) but hey here's $10 on Kickstarter for your non-profit phew my soul is cleansed and karma will bring me the goodies for lyfe! That same time when I got hit by this wall, this blatant culture of excess and ignorance, I started a long personal post about a related climate change dream that I had had the night prior. I never quite finished it as I got deeply concerned about humanity and my own mental well-being as the words came out. Despite being my last evening in Barcelona tonight I made the decision to stay in after picking up some fruit and empanadas from the store around dinner time. I needed this time to reflect and process it all -- how do I continue to keep my head up and fight the good fight? Where do I continue to draw motivation to move forward in these turbulent times? What is my greater contributions and what positive impact have I and am still creating? Where do I go from here as I wrap up my 14 months being away from "home"? Is what is geopolitically considered the US even home? Who can I collaborate, live, thrive, and be with to allow myself to be myself and co-create the best that I and we can be? Thank goodness for the good people that you do meet and hear about. Just earlier this afternoon I went to check out a co-working space in the middle of Barcelona where an Italian couple who has been living here for several years do a weekly donation-based luncheon for anyone and everyone with mostly rescued foods and groceries from nearby stores and markets. Apparently the food waste movement started in this city a little while ago and now there are grassroots groups dedicated to picking up what would otherwise be thrown away due to arbitrary "expiration" dates. Phew. I needed to meet them and know that. But I do wonder and think... how strange it feels to feel lonely amidst so many.
A quote by Narayan Bhattarai
"The benefits we receive as individuals are not large. We are not taking any things with us, yet we try to earn so much to have sufficient things. We come into this world with empty hands, live in nature, step on this earth, breathe the air, drink the water, get warmth from fire. And when we die, we leave empty handed. We reach again the water, and are burned by the flame, mixing our soul back into the fire. We take only the satisfaction that we drew from our own lives, and the thoughts that others had of us, when we die.” - 'Mama' Narayan Bhattarai, with translations by Sunita Pandey and Alyson Noele Sagala
Live at the Museum of Art in TLV!
Live at the Museum of Art in Tel Aviv, Israel! Conscious Impact representing at the exhibition named "Constructive Responses to Natural Disasters" with the organizational video that I have filmed and cut together a few months back. Big to museum curator Maya Vinitsky in working with us and putting all of it together so beautifully and gracefully!
KTM - DBX
I am sitting on seat 20D surrounded by Nepalis and Indians who are also flying to Dubai, many of which I am quite certain are going to or back to the UAE for work. As I spend the last minutes in this country, thousands of memories and snippets from the past 5 months and from past visits are flashing by, but in particular I am thinking about Udav and our boys and men who have been working with us Conscious Impact for several months to since the project's beginning. These are folks who would otherwise not be regularly employed staying in their home village with their families, or would otherwise move to Kathmandu for work, or equally likely too find work aboard in the Gulf States/Malaysia/Indonesia/etc. but leave their family behind. It makes me feel good knowing that our project has not only begun the reconstruction of a local school, an orphanage, a couple community buildings, and now houses too, but also have provided these guys the ability to stay in their home village with their families while earning a livelihood. Udav's house is near completion as I type this. These very bricks that he proudly helped make, cure, move, and place into his new, socially and environmentally responsible, earthquake-safe home will be a story to be told for decades to follow. I'm proud and honored to have been a part of it as this team, this community, this family as this chapter comes to an end. To be continued - Conscious Impact Season 3! #ComeToNepal
Udav catching one of hundreds of bricks from a volunteer as we load the truck for his home.
This morning...
This morning as I woke up I suddenly had a flashback of what a friend said to me after an eye-gazing session a couple weeks back. She said that she saw sadness in one eye and kid-like joy in the other. I was a bit taken back at that moment and never told her until today how true that observation was. I suppose I could have been too surprised to know even how to respond. She was right - I'm and have been emotionally vulnerable, and at times even unstable and haven't had the appropriate channels to let it out and then let it heal. It all feels a bit choked up inside, like a clogged pipe with murky waters stuck in a sink. I thought a long trek amongst some of the highest mountains in the world could bring about clarity and peace. While it did bring me some of that, more moments were filled with emotional rollercoaster rides of what-if's, self-blame, and loneliness. It hasn't really been mentally healthy. As I emerged out of the mountains, I found myself back at the Conscious Impact camp with familiar and new faces, loving people, energies, and meaningful work. I thought that would be healing for me to restart afresh. It has been, yet I've still been struggling with emotional up's and down's as I merge back on the highway of rebuilding work at this village devastated by the earthquakes 2 years ago. That said, it hasn't stopped me from having moments of bliss, joy, and unbound wonder for the world and its people as I used my pair of legs to get this body up to 5400+ meters several times and as I surrounded myself with folks from all over the globe with the same intentions of serving others and lending a helping hand. So what my friend said to me was absolutely correct, and it's crazy - she saw something in my eyes in those 10 minutes that perhaps I didn't even know was (and still is) the most succinct, accurate analysis of my state of mind these past couple months.
Education Program Update Blog & Video
Always a pleasure working with the amazing Alyson Noele Sagala who I met through Conscious Impact last year. Last week I went to the local secondary school with Alyson and two other volunteers/friends, Allie Seymour and Lilly Foster, and together they facilitated a women's reproductive health class alongside Shakya Jenisha, a Teach for Nepal fellow. Photos by yours truly and words and Alyson's.
Link to blog: https://www.consciousimpact.org/new-blog/2017/5/2/education-update-252017-sexual-reproduction-and-health
Also! Fresh video update of the same day. As is the case usually, Alyson describes it best:
"Though news from across the ocean is as disheartening as ever, I am reminded of the good we are still capable of putting out in the world to counteract ugliness, no matter the context.
Last Friday we did a sexual reproductive health and menstruation education workshop for the members of the Girls Empowerment Program. I'm even more excited about the follow up meeting we had just this morning with even more girls in attendance. But for now, take a gander at this video that documents what we did last week, engaging this bright group of girls with invaluable education in a fun, supportive, and safe environment."
Shout out to Lilly Foster, Allie Seymour, and Shakya Jenisha in making this possible, enlightening curious young minds here where we've lived and worked. I always enjoy documenting a meaningful and empowering event and cause. Thank you! #ComeToNepal
CNN.com feature!
387 days ago, I left the US to return to Nepal to work and live with the Conscious Impact team in the rural village of Takure several hours outside Kathmandu. Today is the 2-year anniversary of the 2015 earthquake that shook Nepal and claimed the lives of around 9000 Nepalis and destroyed tens of thousands of homes. Last year I was also in Takure. I remember being with over 30 international volunteers working to produce locally and sustainably-produced bricks to rebuild one of the local primary schools. Now, over 70,000 bricks later -- a primary school, an orphanage, an office building for the local women's microfinance cooperative, a community center, an elder's center, and several family homes are either completed or currently in the works.
This evening we gathered in commemorating of the earthquake that brought us together, and to celebrate how far we've come together and to fuel our journey ahead. This evening we are proud to present a feature on CNN.com, titled "Rebuilding a Nepali village, one block at a time." Deep, deep gratitude to the hundreds of volunteers and hundreds more supporters worldwide in making our rebuilding story happen and continue to unfold. I'll always have Orion Haas and Allen Gula to thank for their vision of Conscious Impact and the wonderful humans they have magnetized to this space over the years. I must also thank Alyson Noele Sagala and Sunita Pandey in helping me with the interviews and in gathering all of the information to make this article happen, and of course last but not least gratitude goes out to Phillip Ngo in connecting us to Bijan Hosseini at CNN in materializing this piece. I am absolutely humbled to have my photos and a project-community I have so much love for be featured on a major news channel. Namaste!
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/25/asia/nepal-earthquake-takure/index.html
Day 19, April 8
Day 19, April 8. 5 am wake up to hike up Gokyo Ri to catch the sunrise. The mercury was well below zero and the windchill made it feel like minus 8 or so. About half way up the mountain, I caught sight of several yaks that were grazing along the steep hillside as the golden morning light thawed the slightly icy ground. I strategically walked above the yak and followed it for a good 20-30 minutes and snatched this shot of a black yak with Gokyo Lake and the town in the background. One of my favorite captures from the whole 3 passes/Everest basecamp trek.
